The Power of Words: How Leadership Language Shapes Culture

Alright, grab a cup of coffee, pull up a chair, and open your mind – our corporate version of turn on, tune in, drop out. I’m speaking to the senior leaders right now. We’re going to have a frank conversation about language, empathy, and workplace culture. Let’s do this.

Leadership language is a potent force in shaping workplace culture. Let’s face it; every word a leader utters has the potential to inspire a team or deflate its morale. Whether intentional or not, whether aware or clueless, the phrases leaders use carry weight. They can build trust, foster collaboration, and impact engagement – or they can erode confidence, sow resentment, and stifle innovation.

So, what can cause leadership language to backfire? Often, it’s because they have a tendency to whitewash real culture issues or dismiss fundamental needs. They create a disconnect between leadership’s intentions and employees’ realities. But don’t fret: by recognizing the impact of their words and making thoughtful adjustments, leaders can foster trust, engagement, and a healthier workplace culture.

Intention vs. Impact: Leadership Language and Employee Morale

Let’s start from a simple breakdown: what kind of language elevates, and what kind of language degrades.

Words That Build Confidence

We’ve all experienced this at some point: the right words at the right time can make you feel unstoppable. A well-placed compliment can create an impact that ripples out through your entire being. At work, simple phrases like “I trust your judgment” or “What do you think?” Can instantaneously create a culture of trust and empowerment. When leaders validate their team’s ideas, it’s a green light for them to step into their potential and own their work. Broadly speaking, people perform best when they feel valued and seen, not micromanaged or dismissed.

Words That Erode Trust

On the flip side of that coin are the words that pull the rug out from under you. Think for a bit to earlier on in your career; did you ever hear phrases like “That’s above your pay grade” or “I need you to be a team player?” These kinds of phrases, even when casually tossed out, cut to the quick and send a clear (and damaging) message: Your input doesn’t matter, and your concerns are secondary. It’s an almost immediate path to resentment and, more importantly, disengagement, especially when employees start internalizing the belief that their leaders aren’t on their side.

Emotional Intelligence and Empathy in Leadership

Why Emotional Intelligence is a Non-Negotiable

Let’s get very real for a minute. Effective leadership isn’t just about knowing the business; it’s about knowing people. Emotional intelligence (EQ) – the ability to understand, manage, and respond to emotions effectively – separates good leaders from great ones. Leaders with high EI don’t throw out isolating or degrading phrases like “Just figure it out.” Instead, they lean into their human connection, saying something like “Let’s figure this out together.” It’s a seemingly small shift that makes a massive difference in building trust and reducing stress.

Empathy is the Secret Sauce

Empathy, for a buzz-wordy as it has become the past few years, is truly the backbone of emotional intelligence, and it starts with intentional listening. Imagine hearing your leader say “Everyone else is managing” as you feel like you’re drowning. Now replace that with “I hear you – let’s figure out how we can make this better.” See the difference? Empathy validates and values. It doesn’t pit one employee against another, or elicit shame when what is needed is compassion. It’s the difference between an employee who feels like a cog in a machine and one who feels like a valued contributor.

The Fallout From Demeaning Language

The Slow Burn of Broken Trust

Trust can take months or even years to build and mere seconds to break. Phrases like “I don’t pay you to think” or “That’s not how we do things here” aren't just dismissive – they’re toxic. They tell employees that creativity, curiosity, or even basic feedback isn’t welcome. These phrases start to stack up and over time trust erodes, and so does motivation. Innovation, the very thing that powers our business’ successes, falls down dead when people stop sharing ideas for fear of being shot down or worse, ostracized for not “falling in line.”

The Productivity Problem

Let’s take a look a my personal leadership language nemesis: “It’s not personal; it’s business.” I dare you to find a single employee, manager, or leader who hasn’t heard or themselves uttered this phrase at some point in their career. While on the surface this phrase is often seen as pragmatic, don’t be fooled. It is an undeniable BS leadership cop-out, full stop. It strips humanity from the workplace, installing a wall between the leaders (business) and the employees (personal). And it’s a snowball phrase. When you negate the humanity in your language, you leave your employees feeling disconnected and undervalued, which drives down morale. And when morale dips, productivity plummets. Because if employees don’t feel seen or supported, why should they go above and beyond?

Let’s dive into some real phrases that we commonly see in cultures that may or may not have an effect on morale and employee satisfaction.

Dismissing Needs: The Perils of “Toxic Positivity”

Take the classic corporate phrase: “We’re like a family here.” On the surface, it’s meant to sound comforting, an invitation to camaraderie and connection. But when it’s used to justify long hours, unpaid extra effort, or a lack of professional boundaries, it quickly becomes toxic. Employees hear it and think, Families don’t demand unpaid overtime. This sentiment, while intended to create belonging, often builds resentment instead.

In a similar vein, let’s look at statements like “Do more with less.” This phrase is often heard during times of company struggle, whether following a lay-off, during a hiring freeze, or when the topic of team expansion comes up. More often than not, when a leader is saying this phrase, it’s with an aim to rally resilience, an attempt to capture their team’s scrappiness towards getting the job done. But it overlooks the strain employees are already under – because this phrase is rarely invoked in times of plenty. What feels like encouragement to leadership can feel dismissive to a team running on fumes. Burnout is rarely solved by corporate catchphrases.

At the end of the day, leaning into toxic positivity is never the solution. A better approach would be to acknowledge the challenges faced while emphasizing collaboration and respect for boundaries. Saying something like “We value teamwork and respect boundaries to get through tough times,” is honest and actionable. It acknowledges the reality of resource strain while making it clear that employees’ well-being is still a priority. This in turn works to build the positive connection that the other phrases fail to.

Glossing Over Fair Compensation: When Purpose Isn’t Enough

Another common, and deceptively dangerous, misstep is downplaying the importance of compensation. Statements like “Your work is your own reward” or “This place is more than a paycheck” often aim to highlight purpose-driven work. But for employees, these phrases can feel at best tone-deaf and at worst, a modern corporate version of “Let them eat cake.” Because the bare facts are these: people work because they need a paycheck – and there is absolutely no shame in that. Ignoring this reality comes across as dismissive of employees’ fundamental needs while also demonstrably undervaluing their contributions.

Instead of focusing on purpose at the expense of pay, leaders should look to connect the two. A phrase like “We prioritize fair pay and meaningful work,” bridges the gap. It acknowledges that pay is foundational while emphasizing the importance of purpose and impact. Similarly, saying “We’re committed to rewarding your contributions in ways that matter to you,” recognizes the transactional nature of work while celebrating the aspirational.

And to finish, a harsh reality for leaders: It is actually NOT up to you to say that work is its own reward or that a place is more than a paycheck. That is a very personal, very individualized approach to work and career that each person makes for themselves. You do not get to dictate that on their behalf.

Denying Employee Autonomy: The Danger of Command-and-Control Phrasing

Leadership language will undoubtedly falter when it stifles autonomy. Phrases like “Because I said so” or “That’s above your pay grade” create a culture of silence and compliance rather than innovation. These statements also send a clear and direct message: do not question authority. Employees who feel dismissed in this way are less likely to share ideas, challenge norms, or contribute creatively.

And the thing is; autonomy is a vital element to innovation! Leaders can actually foster autonomy and transparency simply by offering context. Instead of brushing off a question with, “Because I said so,” try “Let’s discuss the context so you understand the decision.” This shifts the conversation from exclusion to inclusion, inviting employees to engage rather than shutting doors.

But wait Jillian, a company can’t function appropriately with too much transparency! That’s not true; what you just need is to redefine it. Transparency doesn’t have to mean oversharing. But it does mean treating employees as trusted partners in problem-solving.

Faux-spiration: When Statements Ring Hollow

Some leadership phrases mean well but lack the substance to back them up. Take the classic “Bring your whole self to work.” It’s a bold, inclusive statement – that is, until the company doesn’t actually support flexibility, diversity, or psychological safety. In that case, it comes across as nothing more than an empty promise. Similarly, “We’re building the plane as we fly it” might aim to celebrate adaptability, but without structure or support, employees end up feeling like they’re being asked to fly a plane with no safety gear.

To avoid this pitfall, leaders need to pair inspiration with action. Instead of “Bring your whole self to work,” a leader could say, “We’re working on flexibility policies to better support you.” This shift grounds the sentiment in concrete action, and puts the onus on the company to provide an environment for inclusivity. For “We’re building the plane as we fly it,” try something like, “We’re evolving as we grow, and your feedback is essential to getting this right.” Actionable language replaces ambiguity and creates accountability, fostering trust, clarity, and direction.

Empty Promises: The Cost of Unfulfilled Words

Few things frustrate employees more than performative promises. Phrases like “We hear you” or “We’re working on it” are again, well-intentioned, but often land as filler if there’s no visible follow-through. When leaders consistently fail to deliver on their words, trust erodes, and employees disengage.

The solution is surprisingly simple: pair acknowledgment with action. Instead of “We hear you,” say “We’ve heard your concerns, and here’s the first step we’re taking.” Swap “We’re working on it” with “Here’s what we’re committing to and our timeline for updates.” These phrases transform empty assurances into meaningful accountability. Employees don’t just want to hear that change is coming – they want to see it in motion.

Plainly Stated: Language as Leadership’s Most Powerful Tool

1,800 words later, I hope it’s become clear: leadership language is more than just words. It’s a reflection of the culture leaders are building. Dismissive, vague, tone-deaf phrases – no matter how well-meaning – can create disconnection, mistrust, and frustration. But thoughtful, intentional language has the opposite effect. It builds bridges, fosters trust, and empowers employees to contribute fully.

The key is self-awareness. Leaders don’t need to be perfect communicators; they just need to be intentional, and acutely aware of their impact. What you say matters, but how it’s experienced matters more. Leadership isn’t about knowing all the answers – it’s about creating a space where employees feel valued, heard, and supported.

So, the next time you catch yourself reaching for an overused phrase, pause. Ask: Am I saying this because it’s easy, or because it’s true? Language shapes culture, and culture shapes success. Choose words that build the workplace you want to lead.

Additional Tools

Looking for ways to expand your leadership EQ? Here are some resources to get a leg up on the empathy factor in your workplace culture.

Books

1. “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves: a practical guide to understanding and applying emotional intelligence in leadership, including actionable strategies and self-assessment tools.

2. “Dare to Lead” by Brené Brown: focused on vulnerability, courage, and empathy, this book explores how those qualities can transform leadership and organizational culture.

3. “Leaders Eat Last” by Simon Sinek: this book explores the importance of empathy and trust in leadership, with real-world examples of how leaders can create environments where people feel valued.

4. “The Empathy Edge” by Maria Ross: this book outlines how empathy is not just a nice-to-have but a critical leadership skill that drives innovation and builds high-performing teams.

5. “Primal Leadership” by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee: a foundational text connecting emotional intelligence to effective leadership and organizational success.

Blogs

1. Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Blog: insights and research on applying emotional intelligence in leadership and organizational settings.

2. HBR’s Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Articles: regular articles on empathy, EQ, and leadership strategies tailored for modern challenges.

3. Empathy Works Blog by Maria Ross: focused on the power of empathy in leadership, branding, and culture.

4. mindful.org's Leadership Articles: explores how mindfulness and empathy intersect with leadership practices.

Podcasts

1. “The Dare to Lead Podcast” with Brené Brown: episodes focus on empathy, courage, and vulnerability in leadership, with practical insights and interviews with thought leaders.

2. “The Emotionally Intelligent Leader” by TalentSmartEQ: a podcast centered on applying emotional intelligence to common leadership challenges.

3. “The Empathy Edge” by Maria Ross: explores how empathy drives leadership, innovation, and cultural transformation, with expert guests and actionable takeaways.

4. “WorkLife with Adam Grant”: hosted by organizational psychologist Adam Grant, this podcast dives into leadership, work culture, and the human side of professional life.

5. “Coaching for Leaders” by Dave Stachowiak: a weekly podcast offering leadership insights, often focusing on emotional intelligence, communication, and relationship-building.